I feel embodied, present, and POWERFUL. I went to the International School of Temple Arts (ISTA) with the intention of grounding into my own power and learning how to channel that power for the world. I left knowing that the source of my power is in my truth and the ability to discern between what is my responsibility and what is not - particularly in owning my yes's and no's. I've struggled with patterns of dissociation, avoidance, and people pleasing for most of my life. My parents taught me that the "right" way to occupy space was to be of service to others, and that it was otherwise invalid to take up too much air. When I was 21, I needed surgery to remove a (ultimately benign) tumor. In the email notifying my manager that I needed a week off, I apologized for "not being strong enough." ...as if it was a personal failing that I couldn't make a tumor disappear through sheer force of will. I used to accept elbows to the spleen rather than voice ...